
i want everyone to understand why im this way why i struggle, i want to tell them the full truth the full past everything but i just cant. im embarrassed and im scared. but i cant keep pretending im fine and that i struggle just the same as everyone else when i know that what i deal with isnt the same as everyone else. but asking for help means facing it and i cant do that
^to show them i am struggling. that i cant do it on my own and that these jokes i make come from a real place and a real past i struggle to cope with every single day. but i dont do either of those. bc i wont get better but im to scared to show them how bad its got, i dont know how, i dont want anyone to think any differently of me