I’ve never been through this, so take what I say with a grain of salt. But maybe you could make it a mindset thing. Instead of feeling guilt or shame, try to feel like you are rewriting your history. Try to treat her as you would’ve yourself when you needed someone. I can’t believe this evil exists in the world, you are so strong and I will keep you in my thoughts

332

don’t know if this response will help but - please give yourself the time and space to grieve for your inner child, even in unexpected moments like these. it’s not easy being able to put yourself in this position and the fact you’re thinking about even trying to have fun and talk for the sake of the child you’re bathing, shows how deeply you care, especially since you refuse to see the same thing happen again. my advice? if you do to have continue caring for children, make bath time completely..

123

god I am so sorry OP. I know personally there was a period of a few years where I could barely even tolerate being around young children because one way or another I’d be reminded of what was going on in my life at that age & I’d get stuck in an emotional flashback. I can only imagine how soul-crushing it must be to go through the same while attending to childcare responsibilities 💔

77

the reminders are always the worst part. can’t even be around certain smells because it puts me right back in that room. i’m so sorry you’ve had to go through this.

39

I’m so sorry 🤍

29

I'm so sorry to hear that you've been through something so horrible. I was SA'd as a child as well, so I completely understand how you're feeling. What helps me is thinking about it like this: I am protecting this child, I am making sure nothing hurts this child in this moment. The child will be safe from any type of violation while I am watching them. I know it's something very hard to get over, it took a lot of mental coaching to start to think differently. You've got this♥️

28

I’m so sorry. For me it got easier with exposure more than time. I was a camp counselor for 6 weeks and the end of that 6 weeks was the most comfortable around children I’ve felt since I was 9.

19

thank you all so much for your supportive messages, they've left me sobbing again but for a much better reason haha. i wish you all healing for anything you're going through and i'm glad we're changing children's lives and healing our inner children through being protectors. ❤️

8

I feel your pain. Sometimes I just get so triggered and I start thinking that by doing a basic parenting task like bathing my child I’m doing something inappropriate :(

7

Girl you need more healing

-1