Anonymous #1 9w

no offense, but i can’t imagine how this reply would help anyone feel better. “I’m nothing but hated” isn’t lessened at all by you saying “i don’t hate you” as a complete stranger, almost feels like nitpicking. “focus on staying positive” makes it sound like OP’s problems must be purely an issue of perspective, which is dismissive at best

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Anonymous #1 9w

maybe i’m totally off-base here, so i’ll go ahead and delete this if OP disagrees. but to me your reply is an example of what someone else mentioned in here the other day about how frustrating it is when people respond with toxic positivity

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nitpicking as in, “well *i* don’t hate you, so what you said about everyone hating you isn’t even true”. not that i think you necessarily intend it that way, tbc! just that the contents of your reply add up to sounding dismissive rather than supportive imo, which i figured you might want to know. like i said though, if OP disagrees then i’m content to eat my words

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it’s not that i “know what’s best for them”, but rather that when you’re reacting to someone else’s despair re: their own circumstances with “just focus on the positive”, it feels like being told not to vent about it. as if you think the other person’s manifesting their own misery just by needing to talk openly about the negatives

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… so you were in fact nitpicking, and yet somehow you still needed me to explain to you how that was the case and why it was unhelpful. empathy deficiency is one thing, but do you not even experience baseline compassion towards other people? you would have to actively not give a single shit about someone’s wellbeing in order to go out of your way to scold them just for hurting

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i don’t have advice for OP (protip: a lot of people aren’t seeking advice when they vent, they just want to feel heard & taken seriously!), but i’ve got some really important advice for you in particular: whoever it is that hurt you, emulating that person isn’t gonna make your life any easier or less miserable. quite the opposite, in fact. i would suggest staying off social media until you figure your shit out

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