
Yea honestly I feel the same way, I’m closeted as well and most of the time I always wish that my parents were more supportive but they’re religious so it’s hard for them to understand. I’ve secretly went to pride festivals, got a binder, have been cutting my hair short and my parents are okay with it but definitely suspicious of me looking like a man. I’m just hoping one day I’ll have a stable job, move out and finally start transitioning.
and it also frustrates me because. i’m doing everything else right! i’m going to the gym, eating healthier, getting good grades (so far..), following a strict routine; i feel good! but then i lay in bed at the end of the day and start to imagine myself as a man falling in love, and suddenly it’s like i’m stuck in this loop all over again. i even had the fleeting thought of going to a church to tell someone to talk me out of it. it feels like this is going to last forever :/ i am so deeply sad