hey Lena!! i’m Jan. this is my one life and i’m petrified of living it to the fullest because i may fail. i wanna be a computer hardware engineer even though i know nothing about tech and am shit at math. i think they’re beautiful and ache to understand them. if you have a passion/vision for who you want to be, whatever that means to you, i believe you should chase it with heady, unrelenting determination. even in the dark, even when nobody else believes. who else could be you if not yourself?
we see you, and we hear you, Lena. although it’s hard, dont give up, its cliche and that last thing you might want to hear, i know how hard it is to see anything, but i know life has something to offer you, make the most of the small things, its cliche and corny, but it’s what makes life worth living
im still kinda trying to find out who me is. ive been hiding both physically and mentally, doing the bare minimum to get by its driving me insane because i dont know how to live as ME i dont even really have to much of a sense of identity, just a name. i left behind so much of who i am to the point where im just a shell of a person and the single most generic person on earth. im basically starting from scratch when everyone else around me has so much of this figured out