-me with my problems be they were “caused by me”. And I can’t share any of my personal interest with people (except surface level) bc I believe if I tell them then they will hate me and think everything I like is stupid. I’m constantly thinking about how other people will react to me and try to act in a way that will cause the least amount of conflict. And I avoid anything that I believe will cause conflict. Ok maybe this is just trauma. Maybe I’m traumatized…

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It’s worth bringing it all up with a therapist or psychiatrist, especially one qualified to work with adult clients who are neurodivergent and/or OCD. I went my whole life thinking that I didn’t have any real problems because everything wrong with me was “all my fault”. Somehow I could never fix it on my own, but I continued think of it as my fault, rather than the disabilities it actually turned out to be. You don’t need to wait over 30 years like I did.

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