Neurodivergent on Yik Yak | average person who virtue signals before going in comments and being evil (“it’s still their fault if they have problems even if they let me know beforehand”)

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Neurodivergent 2w

average person who virtue signals before going in comments and being evil (“it’s still their fault if they have problems even if they let me know beforehand”)

Confessions 2w

The trauma you experienced is not your fault. However it is not an excuse to be an asshole. You are responsible for dealing with your stuff and not making it the burden of other people to conform to your trauma and trauma responses.

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Anonymous 2w

Not having trauma is not an excuse to be an asshole either

Anonymous 2w

This really depends on how it shows up. I’ve seen both sides. If it’s causing you to lash out at others in harmful ways that IS something that has to be worked on. But if it means you’re not comfortable in specific spaces or you need specific types of communication people should be willing to accommodate. Having problems doesn’t make you a bad person but some do use them to do bad things and warning people doesn’t make complacency around that okay.

Anonymous 2w

ppl always want to act like they’re so strong and allied with victims but then they actually see us and can’t come to terms with the fact that we can be mean and cruel and annoying and smelly and afraid

Anonymous

#3 2w

I’m not saying they shouldn’t work on it. I’m saying that it can still be ugly even if they are getting help. and if you let someone else know about a harmful behavior before it happens and they’re an asshole when it hits, then that’s them being an asshole. they chose to stay with that knowledge.

Anonymous

OP 2w

I wouldn’t say it’s always that black and white. Some people DON’T warn you, aren’t working on it, and don’t care. And other times other people have their own trauma. If your trauma response is to be an asshole and someone else’s response is to fawn the choices to stay aren’t always as simple. It’s not “well that’s just how I am oh well” especially if they’re like that all the time.

Anonymous 2w

I think that’s fair. OOP was making it seem like people are to blame for their trauma RESPONSES in some of the comments but your comment can also come off a bit black and white? I agree people aren’t to blame for their responses and it takes time to heal from triggers BUT they are responsible FOR that healing AND any damage they cause during an episode/trigger. Your initial post/reply seemed a bit dismissive of that.

Anonymous

#3 2w

if you look at my post, I’m explicitly talking about people who do warn you. as for the part about fawning, I hadn’t thought of that; however this post was responding to the OOP, who is almost certainly neurotypical and just an asshole. but thanks for the extra insight :)

Anonymous

#3 2w

I reworded lol mb

Anonymous 2w

Like I have a friend who experienced DV as a kid, another who’s ptsd from their assault causes them to be violent when triggered. If my ptsd friend hit my dv friend during an episode they aren’t a bad person and it wasn’t on purpose but they couldn’t shrug that off with “well I warned you about my episodes so it’s your fault for choosing to be around me.” That WOULD make them a bad person. Which is how your initial reply came off to me.

Anonymous

#3 2w

…I do still firmly believe, though, that someone shouldn’t be an asshole to someone with a harmful trauma response IF they were informed ahead of time that it would happen. outside of the specific scenario you brought up. the actual harm isnt always a choice, and if they’re working through it then it’s dumb for them to be punished for doing what they can.

Anonymous

OP 2w

Agreed. Don’t be an asshole but it could be a good conversation around triggers, how to help avoid them, and how people should respond when it does happen. Cause that trauma response could cause other people trauma. As long as others give them grace and working through it means they own up to potential harm caused it’s all good.