Neurodivergent on Yik Yak | my friend of 10+ years who’s my Safety Human™ is now suddenly ‘too busy’ for me all the time now that they’re in a serious relationship. i’m happy for them, don’t get me wrong, but it’s also really painful and scary. was i only ever just a backup friend?

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Neurodivergent 11w

my friend of 10+ years who’s my Safety Human™ is now suddenly ‘too busy’ for me all the time now that they’re in a serious relationship. i’m happy for them, don’t get me wrong, but it’s also really painful and scary. was i only ever just a backup friend?

Anonymous 11w

I’ve seen a lot of people get into their first serious relationship and stop seeing their friends to see their partner more, it sucks but give it time and they will probably return to you once they settle into the relationship or get out of it entirely

Anonymous 10w

Certainly nobody online can tell you what your friend is thinking, but I can vouch for #1’s comment. It’s super common for people to spend LARGE amounts of time and energy on a new partner, and as a result that will mean less time will go to you. Chances are it isn’t personal in the slightest bit, and they will appreciate your understanding of this until they’re ready to spend more time with friends.

Anonymous

#1 11w

i hope so. it’s not their first but their first in a long time after years of using casual sex to bury their feelings in a less than healthy way. i want them to be happy above all else, but i would be lying if i said i’m not going to be crushed if that happiness involves leaving my life.

Anonymous

#2 10w

And this can genuinely suck to deal with btw. When we put emotional reliance on another person it’s HARD to adapt back to relying on yourself. But it’s the healthiest thing you can do. Make sure you aren’t confusing your personal discomfort with building new habits and layers of emotional security with resentment towards your favorite person, because that will only put negative tension on your relationship.