Anonymous #1 1d

so what happened

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Anonymous #2 1d

The restaurant I worked at had me there til 11pm-midnight. Since I don’t have a car and my apartment was an hour away by foot I just walked. One night a guy was driving nearby, slowed down when he saw me, and asked if I needed a ride. I didn’t think much of it until he asked for my number after I declined, where I lived, and how long I’ve been living here. Idk if he fr was coming onto me, but it felt like smth shifted when he got a better look at me 😭

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Anonymous #1 1d

My frame of reference for what counts as normal interactions is super small tho, so idk if I should feel bothered about it. He drove off after I insisted that I was tired and wanted to go home

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Anonymous #3 23h

was gonna say more or less the same 😬 like I used to think I wanted men to approach me in public, at least for the validation of feeling desirable, but then there was a period of a couple years or so where I couldn’t even go outside without some random dude gawking at me, blatantly trying to get my attention, cornering me into talking to him etc… it was miserable. cause they weren’t really showing any Interest in me, just treating me like an opportunity to get laid

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Anonymous #6 23h

Then they will try to body shame and degrade you when you don’t want their attention no, I got too much trauma built around men having lack of self-control, self-respect, and that desperate to hump anything so I stopped caring for validation no attention since they would give their attention to everything and those are the same one that turns stuff into a fetish .

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Anonymous #3 23h

+ incidentally I'm a plus-size goth myself, I get the feeling we've been objectified similarly 😭😭😭 I'm white though, I'm sure the racist fetishization aspect has gotta make those encounters even worse

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Anonymous #6 23h

No matter what race you are it’s a fetish we’ve been objectified. You will have the black dudes that hate their own race going after you and if they see you’re with Black Lives Matter human rights or anything like that they’re going to fake it long enough to get what they want from you

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Anonymous #6 23h

I can see even in the black community as a black woman who’s part of the Gothic community black men make it worse because none of them knows with the alternative community is about. They turned it into a fetish so when they see a Gothic emo or punk girl living in their neighborhood .

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Anonymous #3 23h

EXACTLY!! that “I didn’t even really want you anyway, fat bitch” switchup they do as soon as you explicitly reject them, it really tells me everything I need to know like, yeah, on the one hand you wanted me bad enough to make a fool of yourself but on the other I can tell you don’t actually wanna get to know me? just vile self-absorbed opportunism

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Anonymous #6 23h

I’ll be finding it when men go straight into body shaming and degrading women that don’t want to give them attention and they really believes it’s a big girl has the lowest self-esteem so they will take any kind of attention you give them and then when that stereotype not true they crash out like a bunch of desperate weirdos

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Anonymous #3 23h

yeah that’s real too, like being called a “PAWG” or w/e is nauseating. weird as hell on so many levels when people feel the need to emphasize race in that way while describing what they find attractive about someone

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Anonymous #1 21h

I agree with your interpretation. This definitely was not a normal interaction, I’m really sorry this happened to you but I’m glad you trusted your instincts and are ok

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Anonymous #4 21h

99.99 percent of guys don’t get approached so fair

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Anonymous #8 21h

That’s so ominous 😭

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Anonymous #8 21h

I feel like ur gonna hunt me down

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Anonymous #1 21h

Yeah dude, that shit seems really weird and off-putting

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Anonymous #1 20h

Oh— that’s actually so scary I’m so glad you’re ok!!

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Anonymous OP 20h

Yes I will

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Anonymous #8 20h

Yk what if you can find me then im chill w it 🤝

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Anonymous #3 19h

I lwk blame all those Disney movies and “coming of age” bc why do they always make the bigger girls specifically so unconfident? All those types of movies really instilled all of the stereotypes so many men religiously believe in and I’m so done w it…

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Anonymous OP 19h

Literally or they always always turn the big girls into villains, insecure villains that needs to be the prettiest girl at the party just to feel some kind of confident, and I could put into thoughts on like that. They don’t like adult women, but they like underage girls every last one of the Disney princesses are under age none of them are 25 and older. None of them are legal

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Anonymous OP 18h

no question childhood media full of tropes like that plays a part in the problem, but it’s a piece of a much broader cultural issue that dates back centuries. there’s a really fascinating book by sociology professor Sabrina Strings called Fearing The Black Body that explores the history of fatphobia in the west, I’m constantly finding myself recommending it to other people

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Anonymous #6 18h

I’m going have to check that book out because I knew there was some other snit with it just don’t know how

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Anonymous #3 17h

reading it connected SO many dots for me, legitimately one of the most groundbreaking & informative nonfiction books I’ve ever read. there’s also Belly of the Beast by Da’Shaun Harrison which sort of builds off the foundation of Strings’ book but is less a historical text & more focused on the contemporary. I love that one too though because it gets kind of… cosmic lol? more esoteric & philosophical. I think of those books as cousins more or less

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Anonymous #6 17h

I most definitely will

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Anonymous #6 15h

I’m ordering the book rn 🤝

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Anonymous #13 8h

i think it’s only desired if you like the guy back/find him attractive, otherwise it’s not a super fun experience (tho maybe i’m too nice and let it drag out rather than assume intentions and shut them down) and it makes me not want to go out and socialize (even less than i already do)

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