and to be clear i’m totally fine with people platonically cuddling. but in my own romantic relationship i feel like that’s just a boundary for me. i’m upset they didn’t think to ask me first.

7

Nah cuddling ain’t platonic. Regardless, If you had previously agreed/your partner had asked and you were cool with it, that’d be one thing. But they did this BEFORE and just told you later. I would make the boundary known immediately, it is not being “too controlling”. It’s a relationship. Each side is allowed boundaries and if the other isn’t ok w that they can work it out or leave 🤷‍♀️

6

Personally I think they really disrespected you by doing this behind your back and telling you after the fact. from an outside perspective it seems to suggest they knew you wouldn’t approve but that if you heard after the fact you might not know how to say anything

6

now i can’t stop thinking about it, and how it reminds me of issues i had in my past relationship with un communicated boundaries.

3

i’m just not sure how to feel. they know i’m not really comfortable with them sharing beds, so idk how they couldn’t gather that was too far? am i being too controlling? they said they’re sorry and it won’t happen again but idk i just feel gross and sad. i’ve been in an open relationship with someone else before and really didn’t like it, which is why i opted for something committed with this new person.

1

You’re not being too controlling. That is really weird behavior from them and you have the right to be upset.

1

you’re not being controlling at all OP, and you’re right to feel that way!! I completely agree with #1

0