I talked about it with the therapist I had at the time and he made me feel a bit better about it but we never fully resolved it before I had to stop seeing him. And it’s so hard to talk about because I just feel so awful about it. Maybe I could work myself up to it with smaller things but it just feels so insurmountable and difficult. It just makes me feel awful about myself. I wanna fix the issue so it never happens again but how can I do that when I can’t talk about it. I hate this.

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Try and journal first, act like it’s your therapist but just let it listen. it’s gonna be very difficult because it seems you may have a hard time with expression and you maybe need to read them after you write them down. It’s a good way to practice some somatic therapy & calm your nerves bc you have to be patient when your write. So you actually feel…it’s hard but I believe in you. You’ll then gather the strength to be able to speak about it with them🫶🏼

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Also you’re aware. That’s the first step and most important step, so give yourself some grace. As someone who has made a LOT of questionable choices in my friendships, you’re learning still. As sad as it is, this my first time really having genuine friends. I’ve almost ruined all of them. Everyone’s different, if they love you they will grow with you and advise you (or reassure you) . If they leave, they were met to be in the past with the bad habits you’re trying to grow from. ❤️

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I feel really guilty over some past horrible stuff I’ve done, stuff that I’ll never speak aloud. But what helps me is knowing that I can still heal regardless, and that I can at least work to forgive myself rather than live as the same person who did those bad things. You can certainly talk to your therapist about your guilt and express that you don’t want to share what happened, they shouldn’t press.

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