I agree in that I think there’s a lot of nuance here. I’ve honestly found that how conventionally ‘attractive’ you are impacts treatment an awful lot. Like a crazy amount. Although I don’t feel pretty, I’ve been described as technically being ‘attractive’ and have seen how poorly those that don’t fit that precise mold get treated. :( I’ve leaned heavily into getting dolled up every single time I go out. Partly because I love it! But also because of this phenomenon.
being pretty can have its perks until it doesn’t. it can bring out the worst types of people who will do anything to hurt you, humiliate you, and spite you all because they think you’re a “pretty girl who has it all” don’t forget what can happen to pretty women. free drinks at the bar and validation from men will never be worth it. be safe.
Aw, thank you for your well wishes. ❤️ I will say though, it has always seemed frustrated me when folks assume that I or anyone else care about appearances for “validation from men”, with the implication of wanting romantic validation. Not that it’s a bad thing to want! It’s just that I’m a lesbian, so it especially doesn’t factor in for me. 😭 People just genuinely day to day seem to be more willing to see the humanity (be kind to, interact with, etc) folks that are conventionally attractive.
are the girls getting you free drinks lmao or do those financial roles not apply because you’re the same gender? Also i feel like you can be a lesbian and still care about validation from men. not romantic or sexual validation like youre attracted to them but in the like “if you’re an ugly girl you get punished by the patriarchy” kinda way
Also, I’m a boring lady that doesn’t drink. XD And as for dates (back when I was single) who pays was *generally* assumed to be the person that asked the other out. But I’m also a fem that has always dated more “butch” types, so they offer to pay more often. But yes, lesbians can and do can definitely feel pressure to appeal to men, but more in a ‘because they want to be treated like humans’ kind of way. 😭