Neurodivergent on Yik Yak | I have a problem with the saying "if he wanted to he would" like im autism and idk im just not going to know what to do or what you want unless you tell me.

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Neurodivergent 1d

I have a problem with the saying "if he wanted to he would" like im autism and idk im just not going to know what to do or what you want unless you tell me.

Anonymous 1d

Like obviously you should show appreciation towards your partner, but how was i supposed to know you wanted a little plate version of my food

Anonymous 23h

I notice this a lot with autistic men, but I feel like as an autistic woman, we don’t behave this way. Probably because we were taught not to. Being inconsiderate is something you can change about yourself, it’s not smth you can just blame autism for.

Anonymous 20h

I am with OP here. That sentiment has always been super toxic and a coverup for people refusing to communicate directly.

Anonymous

OP 1d

Sometimes it’s not about knowing what your partner wants but just like, having a general idea of what they like, and then thinking to yourself like, “hm what little thing could I do rn”. Like if you make food and ur like “hmm they might like some, if they don’t want it rn it can be saved for later, I’ll make a little plate”. But it could also be like, buying cheap flowers when you’re getting groceries, sending a nice text, etc

Anonymous

trash_boat67 20h

Ok I’ve had the opposite weaponized against me also. Like, expecting someone to always clearly communicate in any circumstance is an uneven emotional labor. If you want a relationship with someone you invest in learning about them and like, knowing when you should at least ask if they aren’t going to tell you out of nowhere. Especially if the other person is also autistic and has trouble communicating their needs. Everyone has to put in some effort, on both sides

Anonymous

#1 20h

Perhaps this specific topic should be discussed to determine the expected communication 😶