Anonymous #1 12w

So that’s not helpful in any capacity. OP is clearly asking for specific tips regarding their communication, saying “figure out the problem and fix it” is neither helpful nor effective

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Anonymous #2 12w

2) Keeping them in your mind. I often ignore people because I forget about them, so I specifically make time into my routine to text back and talk to ppl.

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Anonymous #2 12w

3) Being as honest as you can comfortably be. If there’s a problem in your relationship, don’t just let it fester. Tell him that something is off, and don’t just hope it’ll go away on its own. I have to constantly tell myself “nothing will change without my involvement” & “i can’t complain about it if im not willing to help change it”

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Anonymous #2 12w

4) Start slow. Don’t try to “overcorrect” yourself. You’re learning to do these things and it takes time. Ask the people around you what they want from you and try to do that. Eventually you’ll be able to identify those things they want without having to ask.

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Anonymous #2 12w

Most importantly, it could be very beneficial to identify WHY you’re not communicating or being decisive. For me, it’s partially because I hate feeling insecure or being made fun of. Finding ways to affirm myself around people helps me overcome that fear and then communicate more.

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Anonymous #2 12w

If you’re a logic based person like me, it may be helpful to think about times when your friends displayed the communication you’re aiming for. If they weren’t judged or treated differently, then you realistically don’t have anything to learn about.

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Anonymous #2 12w

Lastly, learning to say sorry and apologizing the right way. Saying “I’m sorry” and not changing your behavior is not an actual apology. An apology includes action.

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Anonymous #2 12w

Sorry if that’s a lot, lol. I’m a bit brain fogged right now. I hope some of that helps though! This is something I’m still working on too and it takes a lot of intentional thought and dedication, but it’s definitely worth it!

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Anonymous #2 12w

you are my actual hero thank you genuinely so much omg 😭 this is something I’ve struggled with my whole life and having steps like this is beyond helpful, I can’t thank you enough 🫶🫶🫶

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Anonymous #1 12w

I appreciate the bluntness and I will try to work on it, but agreed with #2 that I was more looking for specific tips. but still thank you!

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Anonymous OP 12w

Of course! Keep asking questions and with your bf, make your effort to change known. Don’t just say you’re changing, actually show those changes through your communication and whatnot. You got this!! 🫶🫶🫶🫶

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Anonymous #2 12w

❤️❤️❤️ thank you 😭 one quick question, what do you do if you genuinely don’t know something / don’t have any opinions? like sometimes he’ll ask and my brain is legit just empty… idk if that’s something normal or not!!

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Anonymous #2 12w

How many letters are in devoured? Cuz you just fuckin ATE‼️

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Anonymous OP 12w

If it’s an opinion on something like a show, I just say “I haven’t thought about it really. What do you think?” and then listen to their answers and consider whether or not I agree. And if I still really don’t care, but they do, I just pick a side anyway or ask more questions and continue forming an opinion. Sometimes it’s not actually about your opinion, but it’s about sharing your thoughts with someone and understanding what they like/dislike!

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Anonymous #3 12w

Oh also my two cents, if you don't have an opinion on something like where to go out to eat, say something like "I don't have a preference" instead of "I don't care." Because you DO care because you want to spend time with your partner, you just don't have an opinion on where to spend your time

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Anonymous #3 12w

this is so helpful thank you!!!!! 🫶

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Anonymous #5 12w

thank you so much!!! 🫶

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Anonymous OP 12w

Oh and also, ask him to go into detail about what exactly he wants from you. If you can establish a clear cut and detailed description of exactly what he wants, it’ll make the task seem less daunting and much more realistic.

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