It’s just. Idk it’s weird. I want to get back into things and get back to having friends but part of me just hates talking to people now. And another part thinks I’m too horrible a person to deserve friends because what if I just hurt them without knowing. I’ve done that in the past and it’s part of why I’m here now. It’s just so shitty but at the same time I don’t know if I want it to stop. And most of the time I don’t even notice it anymore. I do now though. I feel so lonely.