Anonymous #1 1d

Ladies and gentlemen, this is Chewbacca. Chewbacca is a Wookiee from the planet Kashyyyk. But Chewbacca lives on the planet Endor. Now think about it; that does not make sense!

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Anonymous #1 1d

Why would a Wookiee, an 8-foot-tall Wookiee, want to live on Endor, with a bunch of 2-foot-tall Ewoks? That does not make sense! But more important, you have to ask yourself: What does this have to do with this case? Nothing. Ladies and gentlemen, it has nothing to do with this case! It does not make sense!

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Anonymous #1 1d

Look at me. I'm a lawyer defending Stefon Diggs, and I'm talkin' about Chewbacca! Does that make sense? Ladies and gentlemen, I am not making any sense! None of this makes sense! And so you have to remember, when you're in that jury room deliberatin' and conjugatin' the Emancipation Proclamation, does it make sense? No! Ladies and gentlemen of this supposed jury, it does not make sense! If Chewbacca lives on Endor, you must acquit! The defense rests.

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Anonymous #1 1d

Someone hire this man right now

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Anonymous #1 1d

It was a criminal trial tbf not a civil trial so her having less money than him wouldn’t be a disadvantage since she doesn’t need to pay for the prosecutor. Also like, spend 15-20 minutes actually looking into the trial it’s pretty clear that was a legit verdict

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Anonymous #2 10h

He’s just ripping off South Park. Don’t be impressed too much

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Anonymous #4 10h

Yeah bro I bet everyone thought this joke was original

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