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Will you respect someone’s preferred pronouns?
#poll
Yes, and I agree with it
Yes, only to be polite
Yes, but I disagree with it
No, I don’t care enough
No, I disagree with it
329 votes
upvote 5 downvote

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Anonymous 17h

It’s actually like. A basic part of recognizing someone’s humanity in conversation. How would you like it if someone decided to use the wrong name or pronouns for you just because they “didn’t agree” with you about your own identity, and judged you solely based on their own perception of your appearance. People can usually tell if you’re being sincere or not but we don’t say anything a lot of the time because it isn’t worth the attention and criticism it draws if we do.

upvote 24 downvote
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Anonymous 17h

Jesus, the amount of transphobia in this thread is disgusting

upvote 13 downvote
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Anonymous 17h

I’m stupid so it’ll take me like a week of talking to you regularly to remember with out thinking about it but I WILL use them.

upvote 11 downvote
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Anonymous 12h

Yes unless it’s neopronouns because that’s dumb I’m sorry. You’re getting they/them I ain’t keeping track of xe/xir or whatever.

upvote 5 downvote
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Anonymous 11h

even if someone being trans is something you don't take seriously, picking a fight over something as small as referring to someone by a different word comes across as petty and childish to anyone who hasn't been brainrotted by conservative talking points

upvote 5 downvote
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Anonymous 14h

I usually just always say the person’s name rather than pronouns. If it came down to it, I would use it out of respect though

upvote 1 downvote
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Anonymous 19h

I’m curious about the people who said yes even though they disagree. If you disagree with it, then wouldn’t you view using the preferred pronouns as lying?

upvote 0 downvote
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Anonymous replying to -> OP 18h

I disagree with it but i have no energy to argue with mentally ill people, so i just tell them what they wanna hear and move on. So lying is one way to put it

upvote 0 downvote
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Anonymous replying to -> #1 18h

Interesting, I typically just avoid using the pronouns. I don’t agree with it either.

upvote 2 downvote
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Anonymous replying to -> OP 18h

I also avoid if i can but sometimes its hard to avoid

upvote 0 downvote
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Anonymous replying to -> OP 18h

One thing i fs avoid is saying the introduction for myself as “my name is this my pronouns are this i identify as this” because i think thats ridiculous. Im a girl, i look like a girl, so why do i need to clarify?

upvote 1 downvote
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Anonymous replying to -> #2 17h

It’s exhausting to have your own sense of self be up for debate any time you introduce yourself to someone.

upvote 14 downvote
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Anonymous replying to -> #2 17h

I get that, and I’m sorry that’s the situation you’re in.

upvote 10 downvote
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Anonymous replying to -> #4 17h

I can’t speak for everyone but jsyk, we can generally tell when people are actually trying and we do appreciate it, even if it’s awkward at first.

upvote 12 downvote
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Anonymous replying to -> #3 17h

Why do you say that? Nobody here is talking about being rude. We’re mostly discussing being polite in public and either using the preferred pronouns, or at the very least avoiding using the offensive ones.

upvote 3 downvote
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Anonymous replying to -> OP 17h

It's definitely good that most people on here wanna respect people's pronouns, but what rubs me the wrong way is you and others on here saying you still disagree with the person and/or calling them mentally ill. Someone being non-binary and/or trans is not a mental illness nor is there anything to be disagreeing with them about. They're the only ones who know what gender they are, it's not our say, and I don't think it's truly accepting to only use their pronouns to be polite

upvote 4 downvote
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Anonymous replying to -> #3 17h

I disagree, I don’t think someone’s internal perception of themselves has any actual effect on their biological sex, which is what pronouns have always referred to until recently. Gender dysphoria has typically been classified as a mental illness, and is often times a result of sexual trauma. I feel a lot of sympathy for people who struggle with it, but that does not mean I’m willing to lie to them.

upvote -1 downvote
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Anonymous replying to -> #3 17h

If someone thinks they were born the wrong gender, it is not normal. This feeling is often a result of trauma or mental illness and thats not opinion thats statistically true

upvote -2 downvote
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Anonymous replying to -> #1 17h

Ofc that doesnt mean we should treat them differently or oppress them but we shouldnt treat it as normal either

upvote 1 downvote
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Anonymous replying to -> #1 16h

What are reputable sources you have seen this info on? I can assure you these are not true, the most reputable psychologists, sociologists, and scientists have found transgender identity is very explainable and not related to trauma/mental illness If you're talking about the fact that many trans and non-binary people experience mental distress compared to cis people, this is because they face severe transphobia and lack resources compared to cis people

upvote 1 downvote
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Anonymous replying to -> OP 16h

Gender dysphoria used to be classified as a mental illness due to transphobia, but we have a lot of reputable studies done now that shows gender dysphoria is not a mental illness

upvote 2 downvote
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Anonymous replying to -> #3 16h

https://www.brightpathbh.com/gender-dysphoria-statistics/ https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC6830528/ https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/gender-dysphoria/symptoms-causes/syc-20475255 https://www.psychiatry.org/patients-families/gender-dysphoria

upvote 1 downvote
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Anonymous replying to -> #3 16h

Do you think its normal to think you were born in the wrong body?

upvote -1 downvote
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Anonymous replying to -> #1 16h

And if it makes me transphobic to believe that people who think theyre trans should get help, then im ok with being transphobic. If it makes me transphobic that i believe biological men should not be in womens bathrooms then i am proudly transphobic.

upvote -1 downvote
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Anonymous replying to -> #1 13h

Because many social scientists/psycologists separate gender from sex, and therefore there isn't one right way to be a gender (i.e. All girls are different, some like pink, some like blue). To an extent, you're correct in your suggestion that outward presentation is a large component to gender! But not all cisgender girls look like biological girls, not all trans girls look like girls, and not all girls look like the stereotypical "ideal woman".

upvote 11 downvote