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OnlyPolls 15h
If you could only have one life-long friend of convenience, then, of these, what profession might they have?
#poll
Accountant
Emergency First Responder
Mortician
Plumber
Special Forces operator
269 votes
comment

14
upvote 11 downvote
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Anonymous 10h

first responder bc I have epilepsy so I can say “check on me I’m having a high aura day” or if they’re my roommate “keep track of my seizures for me pls” (I have absence seizures, not grand mal seizures so it’s hard for me to know unless I bite my lip which is RARE. I do a good job at tracking my auras for my neurologist tho lol)

upvote 12 downvote
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Anonymous 13h

I’d want a hacker dude. Like a real one not a shitty hacker that uses ChatGPT

upvote 10 downvote
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Anonymous 15h

Whoever picked mortician please explain I have to understand why

upvote 1 downvote
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Anonymous 13h

Probably a doctor because I have OCD and get scared by the slightest colds

upvote 1 downvote
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Anonymous replying to -> #1 14h

A) disposing of relatives’ and enemies’ corpses in a civilized or anonymous way is $$$; B) they are in a unique position to sanitize my own life’s choices, when my time comes

upvote 6 downvote
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Anonymous replying to -> OP 14h

Interesting. Tbf the mortician can only embalm and beautify a corpse (or cremate it if they have the training and equipment), but once they do that it just kinda sits in the morgue until someone else does something with it

upvote 1 downvote
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Anonymous replying to -> #1 13h

But if u kill someone it’s not suspicious for a mortician to have a body. Good way to get rid of a body or at least buy yourself some time

upvote 1 downvote
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Anonymous replying to -> #2 13h

The coroner would be a better avenue for that, they can legally declare a person’s cause of death and have a lot of power in motivating or preventing further investigation. Otherwise people are gonna question where the body in the morgue came from in the first place

upvote 4 downvote
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Anonymous replying to -> #1 13h

That’s not an option

upvote 1 downvote
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Anonymous replying to -> #2 13h

I know I’m just saying for context a mortician can’t do much

upvote 6 downvote
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Anonymous replying to -> #1 13h

I meant to vote plumber and hit mortician

upvote 6 downvote
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Anonymous replying to -> #2 10h

Why

upvote 1 downvote
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Anonymous replying to -> #2 7h

To take care of any “problems” I might have

upvote 1 downvote
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Anonymous replying to -> #5 7h

Like the time someone in my apt stole my DoorDash. Hack the camera feed so I can see who it was and kick their ass

upvote 1 downvote