Anonymous #1 1d

Yea he is. He’s been doing decently. He’s trying to make friends, get a job, get out the house… but this whole situation has him upset and down. It takes time to make friends though, and I’m his girlfriend and I want to help him. But I also am nervous of making myself feel like I have a responsibility or obligation to care for him.

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Anonymous OP 1d

What kind of care is he needing that you don’t want to provide

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Anonymous #1 1d

It’s not that I don’t want to provide the care. It’s that I fear I may overcommit and risk losing myself. I don’t wanna be a caretaker— I don’t wanna be responsible for someone else’s wellbeing all the time. I love taking care of my boyfriend. I love comforting him. But I need some comfort too… and I feel selfish for asking because he’s going through it and I need to be there to support him even if I’m upset or going through something too.

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Anonymous OP 1d

if you can't establish this fact (which is the most valid thing to ask) without him feeling like he's being abandoned despite reassurance, there isn't too much you can do for him. it sucks and it's hard but we all need to learn how to cope without someone else or involving them before we ask for help. it's okay to take time for yourself to create space for him to learn to do it himself, and do not let him guilt you into feeling differently. i'm sorry this was long but keeping yourself a priority

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Anonymous OP 1d

will ultimately help the both of you, because he should be doing that as well.

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