Anonymous #1 23h

Ofc a lot depends on his behavior: my ex never set boundaries with his mom. And after a fight about it, he'd sometimes lie that he did and I'd find out that he very much didn't. Ie he kept telling her that I was angry or delusional for being upset at him flirting with others, she'd text me, I'd tell him to stop telling her everything about me. He'd say he did, only for her to "casually" mention something super private (like what UNDERWEAR brand I wear!)

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Anonymous #1 23h

(His mom would of course text me angrily about me being upset with my ex flirting with others lol)

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Anonymous #1 20h

He doesn’t like his moms behavior. But he doesn’t stand up to her. We are both 20 and I’m in college and he works. If he stands up to her, he’s scared he’s going to get kicked out. And neither of us can afford a place of our own at the moment. So it’s like what can we do? I feel at a crossroad. Do I break up with the man that I love so much because mentally I can’t handle his family? Or do I separate myself from his family because in a few years we should have a place away from his family? HELP

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Anonymous OP 20h

Hm, that's complicated. If its better for your mental health, then break up imo. But if you feel you can work through it and have an active, grounded plan to move out (ie a set budget of saving for apartments, and apartment hunting with goals for where and a set date to move out) then it could work. But if you're caught in limbo, it could become "forever"

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Anonymous #1 20h

Also, if I'm reading right, you said a few years is your timeline for having your own place? How long is that compared to how long you've been with him?

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Anonymous #1 7h

We’ve been together for 9 months, not a long time per se but they say when you know you know, and I know I want a future with him. Ideally we both want to move into an rv. And live in that. So if we can actually do that, I want to move in by the end of the year, or by February. But if we can’t make that happen, I’m nervous we won’t make it happen for like 2/3 years. And I don’t think I could mentally handle all of this drama for that long

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Anonymous OP 4h

Hm, if you can't make it happen by feb with him, then do it alone imo. "When you know you know" could be the honeymoon phase, and you need to prioritize yourself. 20 is very young to know who you want to marry! Many people think that they'll marry their first "real" relationship. Some do, most don't. And if he really is the one, then he'll understand your need to prioritize yourself and support you as he works to do the same for himself.

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Anonymous #1 27m

I agree with you, cause we could always break up and agree to get back together in a year or two if we are both changed

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