Anonymous #1 5w

Yes they want to share a trashcan, microwave, and cleaning supplies. but I have my own and id rather not be responsible for someone else’s trash or cleaning the microwave out if they don’t do it. And I don’t want to get to know them really. I won’t turn them down if they approach me first and I can fake being interested but I don’t want to be her friend.

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Anonymous #1 5w

I’m sure there’s a nice way to say hey I don’t wanna share my stuff I’m responsible for myself and that’s all. I’m not going to be rude to her at all. If she asks to get lunch I’ll just say I have work or class or other plans.

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Anonymous OP 5w

If she wants to share stuff like what you said then explaining “hey I’d prefer if we can have our own stuff”, maybe even throw in a joke like ‘I can be a bit of a clean freak or something’ is pretty simple

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Anonymous OP 5w

As I said before, be friendly. Saying you can fake being interested makes you sound like someone close-minded and a little bitchy to be honest

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Anonymous #1 5w

Okay. That sounds good then. I just didn’t want it to sound rude or harsh. I don’t mind sharing if money ever becomes a problem for her but if she can afford it I’d rather keep my own things to myself because I shared at one point with a suitemate and it was getting used up and when it was the other persons turn to buy it they would get cheap stuff and I didn’t like it at all. Your approach sounds friendly and I’ll try it 🩷

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Anonymous #1 5w

Well I won’t say to her face I’m not interested bc that’s definitely rude and hurtful. So I can fake being interested and try to get her to see I’m busy so she doesn’t take it so harshly. I thought that would be more appropriate

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Anonymous OP 5w

I’m gonna be honest that just is furthering the feeling that you’re a bitch my guy. It’s a lot easier to simply say “hey I’m pretty busy” instead of what you’re describing as treating her like a dog until she realizes she can’t get attention from you

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Anonymous #1 5w

Well I never thought of it that way. Since you’re saying it can be more damaging I can just be honest and say I’m not interested but that seemed rude to me which is why I was looking for a different approach.

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Anonymous OP 5w

Being honest is better- but once again be open to at least being friendly cause the way you’ve talked about it it doesn’t sound like you want to even be friendly with her and are just willing to put up with her until you can get a single again which can really mess with someone’s psyche

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Anonymous #1 5w

Not trying to make her depressed or drive her crazy. I’d just rather be alone. I’m not going to be rude to her or just like reduced interactions if possible. I’m not heartless I just don’t like having people in my personal space and I’m not looking to make any friends. For most people the expectation seems to be to become besties with their roommate and I just don’t want that. I don’t wanna be attached at the hip and go to lunch or the grocery store together. Not unless it’s absolutely necessary

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Anonymous OP 5w

Which is why I’m saying that you need to communicate that because if she is expected that leading her on is worse

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Anonymous #1 5w

Well i appreciate your help. I’ll use your approach and see what she says.

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Anonymous OP 5w

this is how I am too, I'm in an apartment so it's a little easier to keep things separate but I even keep a mini fridge in my bedroom to avoid sharing the main fridge when you guys move in together just say you prefer to keep things separate bc you've had issues with prev roommates or something like that. make it clear that they need to ask if they ever need to borrow something. and also just say you're super introverted so please don't be offended if you're not chatty or social

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Anonymous #1 4w

Being friendly also doesnt have to mean going to lunch with them. You dont need to in order to be friendly btw

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