but she's nice to me besides that and everytime i try to work up the courage to talk to her about it i chicken out because i either convince myself im wrong or dramatic or i get scared that it'll start beef between us. but me not saying anything it starting to make me resent her. please help

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The double standards is an easy fix: just refuse her rules and tell her that unless she starts putting the same restrictions on herself and her guests you will continue to do exactly what she does. As for boundaries, you have to start enforcing them. She keeps taking your stuff, make said stuff unavailable to her. She won’t quiet down at night, file a noise complaint. If having basic respect for yourself “starts beef” with her, then she’s someone who thrives on others being doormats

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