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Roommate Rants icon
Roommate Rants 3w
friend shares a dorm. rm is mad cuz friend said no when rm asked to have the room to fuck. friend says she isn't comfortable with men she doesn't know or their small shared space being used for sex. rm says it's "standard". imo rm is trippin. thoughts?
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16
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Anonymous 3w

Kind of unrelated, but it's funny how in a lot of of these stories the guy just HAS to always come over to the girls place. Why can it never be done at his? Anyhow, your roommate is 100% valid. Had a friend that smokes and lived in a shared dorm her first year and yk what she did when she asked and her roommate was uncomfortable? Find another space to do it

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Anonymous 3w

Ah yes, the classic “everyone does it/it’s college” excuse. If your friend isn’t comfortable with unknown men being in her space then no unknown men are gonna be in that shared space end of story. It’s insane the number of people who think college is an excuse to disrespect their roommate’s boundaries.

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Anonymous 3w

Last year my roomate would bring guys over when I wasn’t there even though i said I wasn’t comfortable with them being there when I wasn’t there and she just didn’t care I would come back to there clothes on the floor and I would ask if they were hers and she would say yea but clearly was a man’s outfit

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Anonymous 3w

they better get a hotel

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Anonymous 3w

i get both sides but the argument always goes the other way - it’s a shared room so you’re going to have to make sacrifices and compromises. now i’m not saying your roommate is in the wrong, but it is normal for college students to bang in their dorms, and sometimes you may just have to go to the library or watch a movie. if one roommate wants the room for a day to fuck, so be it, but if the other roommate doesn’t want that at all, you gotta come up with a middle ground. maybe give her the space

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Anonymous replying to -> amethyst_popping_bottles 3w

this is how i feel. plus i wouldn't be okay paying what they're paying to come back to a room that smells like the sweaty genitals of ppl i barely/don't know

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Anonymous replying to -> #2 3w

that's what i said! my friend felt a little guilty (she was like "i mean it's her place too") and i was like girl... her desired use of the space makes it unusable to you so she can get a *private* room

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Anonymous replying to -> #3 3w

actually incredibly related cuz my first question was "why isn't his place an option?" and... get this... his roommates don't want ppl over for sex either for basically the same reasons 🙃 from what i heard those boys had no issue with that boundary... like girl you can't be worse than 4 fuckboys at respecting boundaries...

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Anonymous replying to -> OP 3w

Your friends roommate thinks it's standard for people to have sex in shared dorm rooms as a woman but respects 4 guys boundaries...she has way bigger issues

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Anonymous replying to -> #4 3w

once a month or on specific days. i’m all for boundaries but i don’t think it’s fair to make the roommate get a hotel when she very well could do the same to share the space. this is definitely a choose your battles issue and honestly it’s far easier to compromise this one than to do an all or nothing. just like she doesn’t want to have the “bad” roommate that has sex in the dorm, you don’t want to be the room hog roommate as well.

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Anonymous replying to -> #4 3w

You missed the part where even the guys roommates refused. Its not a legal right to have sex with specially in a SHARED dorm wtf

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Anonymous replying to -> #3 3w

to be fair it was her boy that respected the boys' boundaries cuz she pressured him too but he was like "no. we all agreed" so i don't think it's necessarily on gendered lines. more so that she just doesn't respect boundaries

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Anonymous replying to -> #3 3w

also yeah "standard" is wild to me cuz like... is she basing that on movies or something?

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Anonymous replying to -> #4 3w

Counterpoint: the roommate can find somewhere else to go. My campus has single gender dorms and doesn’t allow the opposite gender in them so couples have to get creative. They go make out in study/practice rooms, get motel rooms, get in cars together. Being told they can’t use the room isn’t the end of the world. OP even said that the reason his place wasn’t available was because his roommates have the same rule, so it’s hypocritical for them to respect his roommates’ rule but not the friend’s.

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Anonymous replying to -> OP 3w

But did she ever fight him about the decision to agree on that (just out of curiosity)

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Anonymous replying to -> #3 3w

Sounds like her logic was “it’s easier to try to pressure my roommate into letting me do what I want than four guys I don’t know”

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