Anonymous #2 16w

So… you’re saying if a serial killer feels like they want to cut up and eat people we should validate those feelings but we should condemn them acting upon it?

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Anonymous #3 16w

I think you can validate them in the sense of trying to understand what the hell is wrong with them and why they are the way they are. They didn’t spawn out of nowhere with the sole intention of being a serial killer

3

Anonymous #1 16w

Sorry, I don’t think you understand what the definition of validate means. Please give me your understanding of the word.

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Anonymous #3 16w

Its less about the concrete definition of validate and more about what the OP means in this context, which seems to be being accepting of and valuing someone’s feelings. Thats how im interpreting it. And in that case yeah, all feelings have value because they’re arising from somewhere and can point to reasons for behavior

6

Anonymous #1 16w

I was under the impression that we were using the *concrete* definition of validate. Why not just say we should accept and value someone’s feelings instead of misusing the word validate?

0

Anonymous #3 16w

I think #2 is saying they can’t literally be invalidated like the feelings they feel are what they feel opinions can’t change that maybe just worsen at most, but feeling said feelings doesn’t excuse the behaviors that follow from poorly processing. Serial killers also are known for lack of feeling.. so not the best example. More like a man with rage besting his wife, can’t say he isn’t angry but can say he shouldn’t allow his anger to manifest into physical violence.

9

Anonymous #3 16w

I just don’t know what you want man

7

Anonymous #1 16w

Definition of validate in relation to feelings

1

Anonymous #1 16w

Definition of validity

1

Anonymous #4 16w

So you’re saying we should recognize when someone is angry? People already do that so why bring it up and still misuse validate. Seems like a point was trying to be made besides just recognizing if someone is angry or not. Serial killers don’t lack feeling by any means. I’m not talking about Hollywood serial killers.

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Anonymous #3 16w

just bc you don’t like a persons feelings doesn’t mean they’re not valid. some people who’s friends die deal with grief through anger. Feelings are still cave man times and chemicals in our brain-actions however shouldn’t be held in the same light

5

Anonymous #4 16w

I’m saying we shouldn’t validate anyone’s irrational feelings and especially not actions. If you have a feeling of immense anger and you want to act out then you are a danger to those around you.

2

Anonymous #3 16w

again acting it out-that’s not feelings that’s actions as a by product. it’s much ppl are more likely to act out on their feelings if they feel like they’re already doing wrong by feeling the way they do

5

Anonymous #3 16w

You just want to invalidate the entire argument over one technicality from your preferred dictionary. I’m just saying how I interpreted OP’s post, you’re the one who woke up and chose the need to be right 🤷‍♀️

1

Anonymous #2 16w

Source, trust me bro. Tell these things to my dad who even though he had a good support system let his anger build and abused me. We don’t need to validate the feelings of others. Some feelings don’t deserve validation but gentle correction or strong correction. If you wanted to hurt someone I wouldn’t say, no worries bro I got you, your feelings are valid. No, I’d say, I’m gonna get you some help, and immediately call the police if the situation calls for it.

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Anonymous #2 16w

We should take action on others feelings not validate them, or whatever your version of validation is.

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Anonymous #4 16w

It’s not a technicality, it is literally the basis for #2 and #4’s whole point. Use a different word or better explain yourself as I am doing and have done.

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Anonymous #4 16w

No one chose the need to be right. I’m sorry I’m not gonna conform to your loose pov.

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Anonymous #4 16w

If you wanted biased replies you shouldn’t have gone onto yikyak

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Anonymous #3 16w

Bro as you said, this is yikyak, there’s no need to die on this hill, and this is literally an opinion based app. You’re the only one anyone’s disagreeing with under this post meant to spark thought and conversation it’s literally all opinions and you’re driving yourself up a wall for what 😭

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Anonymous #4 16w

You’re spinning a narrative I have no time to combat. If you wanna choose to project your own feelings feel free to do so.

0

Anonymous #3 16w

Who tf hurt you dawg

2

Anonymous #5 16w

I had a friend who would verbally abuse anyone in her vicinity the minute she had an outburst and when someone would try to tell her how her words were hurtful, she would bring up the fact that her mom abused her as a child and that she had BPD and the conversation would result in her being coddled and the cycle would continue again. Suggesting psychiatric help was offensive to her and “none of our business” yet she would make her issues our problem when it worked for her.

1

Anonymous #3 16w

You can still validate someone and correct them at the same time…. Like your dad was valid for being angry, but he shouldn’t have allowed his anger to build up and abuse you because of it. People are allowed to feel irrationally because emotions are often irrational, but that doesn’t mean we are excusing their actions. I could slap someone because they angered me; while my anger was valid, my action was not and I should apologize. Validation does not equal escape

1

Anonymous #6 16w

For your example of someone wanting to hurt another, you can validate their feelings by being like “I get you, I’ve been there before, let’s talk about it so that you don’t do something you regret.” That’s validation AND redirection.

1