General on Yik Yak | Hey if you’re upset with someone but never communicate what you’re upset about to them, you have no right to be outwardly mad at them for not stopping what’s upsetting you. People can’t read minds. Use your fucking words

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Hey if you’re upset with someone but never communicate what you’re upset about to them, you have no right to be outwardly mad at them for not stopping what’s upsetting you. People can’t read minds. Use your fucking words

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Anonymous 16w

Not to say you can’t be internally fucking pissed, absolutely have at it. But the person you’re upset with can’t read your mind, they can’t change what they’re doing unless they know they need to change it. Don’t snap at others for doing things wrong they never knew was wrong before. TALK to them

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Anonymous 16w

I mostly agree with this but there is such a thing as nonverbal communication. Body language and facial expressions exist, so sometimes you don’t need to verbally communicate a message for it to be obvious

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Anonymous 16w

Literally you have to communicate things

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Anonymous 16w

No because my ex got mad at me for this because my roommate was mad at me and refused to use her fucking words so I said welp I’m not investing negative energy into that if she cant advocate for herself. ESPECIALLY since I genuinely had no idea and even tried asking but got no answer.

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Anonymous 16w

I wish my roommate did this when she had problems with me even after I apologized for what I thought was wrong :/ instead she just bullied me for the rest of the semester even when I’d ask her to talk about it😀

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Anonymous 16w

That is exactly why if he wanted to he would is pure bs if u don’t communicate what u wish he would do

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Anonymous 16w

If you have an issue with someone it’s THEIR job to fix it, but it’s still YOUR job to make the issue known

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Anonymous 16w

i hate when i communicate what im upset about and they just brush it off, make it seem like im dramatic when they’re truly hurting me mentally, then are confused why im always mad/uncomfortable around them. they’re a family member so it’s inevitable not to bump into them 😕

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Anonymous 16w

Yes but also if you have screamed at and threatened a person when they HAVE told you youve upset them, YOU are the one in the wrong. They dont feel SAFE talking to you.

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Anonymous 16w

Yup, unspoken expectations are premeditated resentments.

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Anonymous 16w

👏👏👏👏

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Anonymous 16w

i wish my roommate had this much common sense

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Anonymous 16w

We as people need to learn how to communicate but also to be socially aware

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Anonymous 16w

Reminds me of when I had to beg my shitty inconsiderate roommates to follow the rules they made us all sign. They were screeching it up every night but said it had to be quiet like wtf. Then they made sexual remarks abt my body and when I called campus police they lied and nobody believed me. Best part was when they went right back on their shit after upd left 💀

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Anonymous 16w

Dude I’ve TRIED but it’s so hard for me to communicate problems without being confrontational. Like I just get so heated and I’m trying to stay calm

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Anonymous 16w

i got called a baby and blocked by nearly my entire friend group after telling them something made me uncomfortable for the millionth time :( now i’m the bad guy and they spread rumors about me

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Anonymous 16w

or even if you can’t figure out the words right then and there, it’s okay to say hey i need 5-10 minutes to get my thoughts together before i can contribute to this conversation

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Anonymous

#3 16w

Yes but there are plenty of people who can’t understand nonverbal communication, so you do have to verbally say things so that there is no miscommunication and misunderstanding.

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Anonymous

#3 16w

Also, nonverbal communication doesn’t tell you what the problem is, just that there is a problem. You can’t fix something if you don’t know what you’re trying to fix.

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Anonymous

#6 16w

And my ex got mad cause I ‘’wasn’t initiating a conversation with her’’ bro I have my own shit to worry about. She should grow a pair and tell me if she has a real issue with something. It pissed me off to no end and needless to say we’re not dating anymore lmao

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Anonymous

#8 16w

Do you know why you get so mad? Maybe by trying to think through what you’re trying to communicate, you’re bringing up those feelings even more?

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Anonymous

OP 16w

Dude I’ll try to let myself cool off before saying anything, but by then I’m like yk what it’s not that big of a deal so nothing gets changed. I think I have minor anger issues lol I love being angry I feel powerful

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Anonymous

#8 16w

In that case this sounds like therapy would be good for you, is that doable for you?

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Anonymous

#8 16w

You could try writing down your initial feelings, then write about the issue and give it to the person. Sometimes writing down my thoughts makes me less upset and more clear about my issue! (Please ignore this if you’ve already tried it, but it might help!)

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Anonymous

#8 16w

yeah no that’s completely a you problem , fix yourself

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Anonymous

#9 16w

That’s the goal chief

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Anonymous

#9 16w

Yeah that’s a great way to encourage self improvement, shaming people always works and doesn’t just make them feel shittier

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Anonymous

OP 16w

/s

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Anonymous

OP 16w

my bad bro i grew up around people with anger issues and had to be subjected to their actions, i do try to be sympathetic but you get to a certain age age where you need to realize that you need to get help since it’ll start affecting you and the people around you

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Anonymous

OP 16w

also i wasn’t really shaming anyone i was just stating facts

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Anonymous

#9 16w

They recognize they need help though, at least based on what they’ve said. And sorry I misinterpreted it as shaming, but the way you said what you said very much felt like shaming

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Anonymous

#16 16w

Yup, I have someone like this in my life. Funnily enough he also happens to be a coward around confrontation most of the time, letting any issues others have with him go in one ear and out the other and letting his own issues with others fester until he snaps and yells at whoever he’s upset with. I don’t feel safe confronting him about a lot since I have no idea what’s going to be the last straw in his pent-up anger

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Anonymous

#3 16w

why do people expect an unreliable form of communication to work consistently

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Anonymous

mother_russia 16w

100% - it doesn’t tell us what the problem is! …I do wish I could read minds though, that would be hella lit.

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Anonymous

#8 16w

I think it’s okay to wait it out until you’ve processed the emotions a bit more like I don’t think it’s necessary to bring up the issue ASAP my best friend and I are cool with discussing things that bothered us even if it happened months ago and tbh it’s made communicating easier

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Anonymous

#5 16w

Same thing happened to me. It sucked :(

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Anonymous

#21 16w

SAME THING FOR ME. we literally talked and had a discussion and apologies were said and then she bullied me and was so mean and then finally on the last night living together she basically told me that she hated me and that she never wanted to see me again even though in our og discussion she said we were still friends and we were good.

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Anonymous

#22 16w

She literally told me she hated me multiple times in reference to last year but she “likes me now.” And she got mad at ME when I found out some of the stuff she was doing behind my back

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Anonymous

#5 16w

guys I thought this was a singular experience for me but I guess we’re all suffering with crazy people

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Anonymous

#14 16w

Why is it always roommates that just can't communicate about things 😭

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