its hard to know! i’m on hormones and i still have days where im like “but am i gaslighting myself??”. honestly the best thing for me was to just give it a try (w/ online strangers at first)! and if it didn’t make me happy i could always just stop. i’ve just been trying to be myself without being afraid of what other people think about me. just so happens to have led me to ✨trans✨- it might not lead you to the same place! but it’s worth exploring to find out a little more about yourself:)
Cis people don’t normally think about trying hrt… i was still in denial about being a trans woman for 6 months *after* starting hrt, “im just gender fluid” etc etc. In hindsight, i have no clue how i managed to do that, in middle and high school i would have breakdowns about not being able to have a period, not being able to get pregnant, not having breasts, i would complain about how girl clothes were so much better than boy clothes. If you’re wondering if you’re trans… you probably are
But baby lemme say this right now- no matter what happens you are loved and valid and it’s gonna be okay. Gender is fluid and flexible and no matter what happens right now, it can change down the line. You are so loved and so valid and as long as you’re here for this community, we’re here to support you trans or not
So I was/am similar situation(not as religious family but dad grew up strictly religious) I managed to secretly get into therapy sessions by myself and talk to my therapist about these things and helped me see myself as not just performing through autism but that I’d instead been suppressing myself for years trying to fit the “male” role I grew up being told I’m “supposed” to be