Realizing you’re trans is a large shift in your identity and how you live your life. Changing the way you live (even in pursuit of something you want) takes a lot of effort and causes people to perceive you differently, which is both scary and really hard. Trans people are also viewed as non-people in many ways. Not only do people not want to be viewed that way, but they don’t want their loved ones to view them that way if they tell them they’re trans.
I wonder if it’s easier to come out younger because the social stigma hasn’t had a chance to be engrained in you. When I was younger, I essentially lived my life as a boy- the only reason I didn’t say I was a boy/trans was because I didn’t know it was an option. By the time I learned, though I was an ally to other trans people, I also got scared and repressed myself to be feminine. Took me a while after that to live as my true self again, as a man.
some people have access to more resources either at home or in their community and also there’s just a large range in how people cope with issues that arise in their life. many people have avoidant personalities and that disposition extends beyond repressing their gender identity, while others tend to face/externalize their responses regardless of context. there’s also a wide range in the type and severity of dysphoria people experience and whether or not it’s capable of being repressed.
I came out late so I can’t speak definitively on this, but people who come out young either are either more okay with the big changes that come into their life, have an understanding and caring environment, or both. Everyone is different. Some people are fearless, some are riddled with anxiety.