Trans Talk on Yik Yak | I asked this on Reddit but the posts go no traction so I’ll ask here: why do some of us like me immediately try to repress it when we realize that were trans? While some of us never repress it and come out young. Why is that?

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Trans Talk 15w

I asked this on Reddit but the posts go no traction so I’ll ask here: why do some of us like me immediately try to repress it when we realize that were trans? While some of us never repress it and come out young. Why is that?

Anonymous 15w

innate personality / differences in community or living situation

Anonymous 15w

Realizing you’re trans is a large shift in your identity and how you live your life. Changing the way you live (even in pursuit of something you want) takes a lot of effort and causes people to perceive you differently, which is both scary and really hard. Trans people are also viewed as non-people in many ways. Not only do people not want to be viewed that way, but they don’t want their loved ones to view them that way if they tell them they’re trans.

Anonymous 15w

i repressed being trans until my 20s, but “knew” i was gay at 12 and starting coming out at 15. not totally sure why i was okay with being gay and not trans tho

Anonymous 15w

I wonder if it’s easier to come out younger because the social stigma hasn’t had a chance to be engrained in you. When I was younger, I essentially lived my life as a boy- the only reason I didn’t say I was a boy/trans was because I didn’t know it was an option. By the time I learned, though I was an ally to other trans people, I also got scared and repressed myself to be feminine. Took me a while after that to live as my true self again, as a man.

Anonymous 15w

For me it was safety, internalized transphobia, religious trauma, and a misogynistic mother that make me push to pretending until I was 18

Anonymous

#1 15w

some people have access to more resources either at home or in their community and also there’s just a large range in how people cope with issues that arise in their life. many people have avoidant personalities and that disposition extends beyond repressing their gender identity, while others tend to face/externalize their responses regardless of context. there’s also a wide range in the type and severity of dysphoria people experience and whether or not it’s capable of being repressed.

Anonymous

#2 15w

I came out late so I can’t speak definitively on this, but people who come out young either are either more okay with the big changes that come into their life, have an understanding and caring environment, or both. Everyone is different. Some people are fearless, some are riddled with anxiety.

Anonymous

#1 15w

That makes a lot of sense. I mean considering my circumstances as a teen it probably wouldn’t have been safe for me to do so

Anonymous

#2 15w

That makes sense it also probably didn’t help that I’m autistic and a lot of my mental energy at the time was taken up by masking and trying to fit in with the popular crowd in hs

Anonymous

OP 15w

that’s totally fair. there are a lot of (young) people who do come out in unsafe situations, one of my close friends did, which is why i mentioned other contributing factors (innate personality, severity of dysphoria, etc).