EXACTLY. this older guy who i’m close to (he’s kinda like a chosen uncle) was trying to be supportive but was just telling me basically ways to change myself to look more like a guy. he was like take out the piercings, go back to your natural color hair, short haircut, dress like this, etc. and i was like ok im not doing that but thank you? like i get that you’re trying to help but that’s not what i need