Trans Talk on Yik Yak | stupid question but how do you know ur trans? was there ever a moment it clicked for you? was there denial? i’m really unsure :(

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Trans Talk 1w

stupid question but how do you know ur trans? was there ever a moment it clicked for you? was there denial? i’m really unsure :(

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Anonymous 1w

(Yeah there was doubt. I’ll help you skip the humming and hawing and let you know that you will never ever get a green light that says you 100% SHOULD transition. The answer will always be “eh, you can if you want to” but you can always make it a more and more educated guess. Just don’t let the wondering become years longer than it needs to be.)

Anonymous 1w

for me i never really had any extreme dysphoria, i just kinda started experimenting until i found something that felt close to correct. i used video games to compare how i feel with different pronouns. i just kinda new i was different even as a kid

Anonymous 1w

i lived in denial for like two decades lol. tried living as a gay twink thinking it was close enough. worked for a lil bit, but eventually dissociation and depression were too much to ignore. i’m also nb transfem instead of binary trans, so took a while of experimenting before anything really “clicked”

Anonymous 1w

Ages of denial suddenly turning into “oh wait I can just be a girl and not depressed”

Anonymous 1w

So for me it comes down to if you spend more time than not saying “man I wish I was born as a ___” “I wish I wasn’t ___” or some other similar thing, then you may want to explore a new identity

Anonymous 6d

the way i think abt it as someone who has questioned a lot is that "being trans" is not actually inherent, its a series of choices you make based on feelings, some of which are inherent and some of which are affected by your surroundings. so instead of obsessing over "am i REALLY trans?" break it down and ask yourself, what is my goal? what am i comfortable sacrificing for that? how do i picture myself living? what is important to that vision?

Anonymous 1w

i’m really sorry i’m just figuring this out 23 years into my life (unc ik). i feel like i can’t tell anyone. i also feel like i *can’t* be a man. because that means i’m suddenly an even worse person than i already am (i’d only ever think that of myself). women and nb people have been my community and support for my entire life and now that i’m figuring out that i might not be one of them i know i’ll just be shunned. i’m scared and i feel really alone.

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Anonymous

gipsum 1w

Years of exploring my expression online, in person, a nonbinary temporary persona irl, changing how I dressed, years of therapy, moving across the country, and still having doubts, it took me stepping back and tallying up everything I did to realize “I’m ’not sure’ but have not stopped wanting it since I started. At some point I need to buck up and pull the trigger, I can detransition if I don’t like it” and I haven’t looked back for a single second

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Anonymous

gipsum 1w

I’ve been on HRT for a year and 4 months now

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Anonymous

gipsum 1w

I live in a major city, with an amazing girlfriend, and recently had a consult for ffs. I’m moving forward and loving every second. It’s really hard some days, but so much better than pretending to be a man for someone else’s sake

Anonymous

gipsum 1w

i appreciate the insight

Anonymous

#3 1w

using different pronouns in video games is a great suggestion, ty. i don’t experience a ton of distress/dysphoria either, but being a guy (i’m afab) feels off-limits somehow? like it’s the only thing i can’t be, not because i don’t want to, but because i’m not allowed to somehow. i’m scared of how people will treat me and this is a bad time to figure this out living in the US. i don’t want to stop feeling supported or safe because i’m not a woman or nb. i try to be kind and not hurt anyone :(

Anonymous

OP 1w

people don’t trust men. no one will ever trust me again. i don’t want any kind of privilege. i don’t want people to hate me. i wish iwasn’t like this

Anonymous

OP 1w

i already make a shit + pathetic enough woman/nb person

Anonymous

#6 6d

for me, thinking "am i REALLY trans?" just made me focus on my dysphoria in order to justify transitioning, and i wasnt actually happier. but breaking it down into: "i dont like my chest, being seen as a girl, or having long hair, i want to have facial hair & to be taller, i want kids but i'm okay adopting, i want to call myself this name" & so on turned it into a series of easier decisions- do i want to go on T? do i want top surgery? do i want to change my name?

Anonymous

#6 6d

& instead of taking the sum of these decisions and going "well i have enough of the signs, i guess i really am trans" you keep them as seperate but related decisions- then make your choices individually based on how you feel about each option. this is all to say, there's not a fundamental "transness" that every trans person has, which you need to pin down in order to transition. its a series of decisions based on what you find important which hopefully leads to eventual self actualization.

Anonymous

#6 6d

don't ask urself 'am i trans?' because that is a vague term that refers to a diverse range of people who may share some experiences but not others. instead ask 'what is it that i want? what do i NOT want? what do i like abt me, & abt my life? what do i dislike? what do i feel drawn to do? why am i considering this question? what are pros and cons of making X decision? what is the easiest possible solution to Y problem?' and make your decisions based on how you feel abt that particular decision

Anonymous

#6 6d

eventually you may find that based on decisions you have made & understandings you have come to, you consider yourself to be trans. or cis. or you may find that neither label is really perfect. or you may just stop caring. either way, understanding that being trans is not a static decision nor a static process will help you remain grounded in making the right choices for YOU, rather than for the sake of being trans. good luck

Anonymous

OP 6d

i left a lot of comments, check out my thread. considering what it is exactly that makes u feel u might be a man, how u want to be treated/seen socially, how ur worried your friends will react, what decisions feel important to ur understanding of urself, and how those decisions will affect different areas of ur life is rly important. plus remember, men can be trusted. men are not always hated. and in fact not all trans men have male privilege in broader society.

Anonymous

OP 6d

i'll also mention that "women and nb ppl" implies that u see nb as adjacent to women & separate from men in a way that's not always true. nb ppl can identify more with men, be friends with men, be happy in male dominated spaces. same w/ some trans women, & some trans men feel more comfortable around women. im not saying this to call u out ofc but to point out that being a trans man doesnt automatically kick you out of community with women and nb ppl.