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gay transguy here; does anyone else worry about not being seen as a guy by other queer men? or just men in general? they could affirm your gender as a boy as much as they want but deep down they see you as just a *transguy* and not a *guy*.
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Anonymous 7w

YES. all the time. I use Grindr a lot but recently I've been deleting the app off my phone a lot because I have the sense that gay guys I hook up with aren't seeing me as a guy in the way I am

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Anonymous 7w

idc what they see me as “deep down”. as long as you refer to me the way i want to be referred to and you treat me with respect, then we’re good. if someone’s got shit to say to me, then i’m out and they can continue being miserable. there’s plenty of guys out there that see me as just some dude

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Anonymous 7w

yes and no. demisexual demiromantic is probably the best way to describe me, so in romantic relationships i wouldn't develop feelings for someone unless i felt truly safe with them, and i wouldn't feel safe with someone unless they saw me as who i am. in platonic relationships, yeah i do worry about being humored about my gender. it'll become less of an issue i think as i get older and more comfortable in my transness, but i do have an instinct, particularly when i pass, that they'll find out im

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Anonymous replying to -> #2 7w

and the shitty part is that in a sense it is true. the "trans" label DOES change how people view you, the same way any new information will. it's often a minute difference but can feel very big to us trans people specifically

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Anonymous replying to -> #1 7w

don’t know why this is unpopular 🤷‍♂️ who cares what other people think about you

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Anonymous replying to -> #1 7w

i agree…i think the main distinction for me is, if you’re a close friend or a partner i want you to see me for my true self. if you don’t even after i’ve given you many opportunities to see and understand me, i’m going to feel uncomfortable in the relationship and probably distance myself. but if it’s anyone else i don’t give a fuck, and if anyone disrespects me i’m out

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Anonymous replying to -> #3 7w

that’s how i feel about it. those who i feel deserve to know that part of my life will eventually know. otherwise, i know who i am and no one will ever will ever make me doubt myself, especially someone who was never going to respect my identity anyways. if a friend treats me differently after i come out and refuses to change, then they were never my friend

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Anonymous replying to -> #4 7w

trans and my guy status will be revoked or worse, coddled.

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