Anonymous #1 5w

It’s basically trying really fucking hard to perform masculinity in a way that feels right to you and failing miserably because performing femininity was what you needed all along

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Anonymous OP 5w

Said failure manifesting itself in the form of outwardly cringe behavior or feeling very uncomfortable around others without knowing the reason why

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Anonymous OP 5w

this is a really real experience and i relate to it rlly hard🫂 but malefailing is when a mtf dresses up male (boymode) and still passes as a woman (failing to look male) (& ive seen girlfail for ftms for the inverse)

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Anonymous #2 5w

wait really? i only heard malefailing as being defined in the way i explained it😭 what’s the right term for this experience if it has one?

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Anonymous OP 5w

ive only heard repressing but im not that online so i wouldnt be surprised if it had a real name that im unaware of

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Anonymous OP 5w

God I think I need to Introspect before I know if I relate to that tbh😭

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Anonymous #2 5w

This one makes more sense with the term ngl. It’s also simpler🫠 I’m eepy my brain is slow rn.

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Anonymous #1 5w

I feel like both definitions work for failing to perform masculinity tbh, one is just before you realize you’re trans and the other is after you realize you’re trans. Mb there’s no separate term for either bc the transfem community hasn’t come up with them yet

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Anonymous OP 5w

Tbh I think the one you mentioned is just one that requires more self awareness from being further along in your transition to have the right amount of hindsight. So it makes it harder to really put a word to. Like I do think it’s probably a common experience but personally I think there’s a lot of variation in my case in regards to that. So it might also just have a lot of individual variation that makes it harder to make a strict definition.

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Anonymous #1 5w

Sorry if I’m rambly it is 4 am lmao

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Anonymous #1 5w

Nope it’s fine I love this kinda discourse. It’s like we’re making the merriam webster dictionary for queer and trans people lmao

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Anonymous OP 5w

Upon rereading my message I wasn’t rambly I just wrote VERY long sentences lmao. But yea it’s interesting to talk about this stuff. I don’t think my case was as pronounced because I was in a progressive enough environment that I could display some femininity in a way that felt comfortable to me. I did certainly have a pervasive “something’s wrong but I don’t know what it is” feeling since middle school though. And it’s a massive relief to not only know what it was now. But also be taking steps

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Anonymous #1 5w

To get rid of that feeling (also realizing that my family is kinda toxic and taking steps to distance myself helps my mental health a lot as well)

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Anonymous #1 5w

Yeah being able to express femininity really helps. It’s not like I couldn’t do it, I just didn’t know that was an option I had until like my first year of college where the first pipeline I fell down was nail polish. And being oblivious to my options certainly didn’t help considering how much cringe shit I did for attention and validation as a kid when those things would’ve damn well come my way had I been exposed to femininity enough that I could comfortably come out

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Anonymous OP 5w

I’m writing my coming out insta post rn as a matter of fact and this is how the whole thing came up

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Anonymous OP 5w

That’s a great post and honestly I relate to this a lot, it took going to therapy to help confirm it for me after questioning and having a few episodes over last couple of years… also happy for #1 for having a progressive environment, I’m not so lucky and unfortunately can’t do anything about it atm as I’m financially dependent on my family (I’m turning 20 and haven’t been able to get a job since we moved back across country)

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Anonymous #3 5w

Aww ty that’s just a little snippet of it actually, if anyone wants to see the full thing I can make a separate post on it

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