i go to my college student health center, which has been better than any OB office i've been to (i think they have more experience with trans people), and getting to know the drs beforehand for non-gyn reasons like a flu test has been great. i wear clothing that is very masculine because it makes me feel a little better, including my most comfortable boxer briefs, and i stare up at the ceiling and focus on my breathing while they're in me. afterwards i have an empty schedule where i watch tv
I think your gyno might suck. mine was super gentle and worked with me for genuinely forever trying to replicate the pain I was having during sex so she could diagnose it. and even though she was replicating pain it wasn’t nearly intense enough to need ibuprofen or anything. If you’re with a good Dr you shouldn’t need pain meds
seconding. for things like an IUD insertion, pain management is def recommended, but for things like a pap smear, i haven't experienced it being necessary. vaginal atrophy would've made it painful to insert things (and it did in the past) but now that i'm on the nuvaring, i don't have that issue