Trans Talk on Yik Yak | i wonder why in these comments amab trans people hate being called amab while afab trans people are mostly ok with being called afab.

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Trans Talk 1d

i wonder why in these comments amab trans people hate being called amab while afab trans people are mostly ok with being called afab.

Trans Talk 1d

I hate to start discourse but I’m really starting to hate the terms “amab” and “afab” and how people refer to themselves as such YOU ARE NOT WHAT YOU WERE ASSIGNED AT BIRTH YOU ARE TRANSGENDER!!! YOU WANT TO TAKE CROSS SEX HORMONES!!!

Anonymous 1d

Transmisogyny is why. Trans women's birth assignment is used as a bludgeon to deny them their womanhood. I don't know a single trans woman who reclaims her "amab" childhood.

Anonymous 1d

building off of what #1 said: for many transmascs, the fact that we were subjected to misogyny firsthand all throughout our formative years is important context. it doesn’t simply cease to be relevant once we come out and/or transition—even if/when we consistently pass, that lived experience continues to inform who we are and how we see the world. for this reason, some of us are uncomfortable with having our birth assignment totally erased

Anonymous 1d

I'm a trans man and I do not like being called afab at all (also a big hater of asab labels in general), and while I understand why some trans men might consider their experiences with being perceived as female before transition a major part of their identity, I think there are better ways to have that conversation. "assigned sex at birth" is too often used to spread terfy and transmisogynistic ideas but rebranded to look more "woke"

Anonymous 1d

it drives me crazy that this idea is so persistent (yes, bc of transmisogyny). i hate that it’s so accepted that “afab” trans people are ok with being called afab. do not fucking call me afab OR assume that i feel some kind of community with you/have shared experiences with you bc of my asab. stop it! stop fucking grouping people and making assumptions based on asab! i swear, some trans people are just as bad as cis people.

Anonymous

#1 1d

i agree that our birth sex is used to deny us womanhood, but aren't trans men denied manhood the same way?

Anonymous

#1 1d

This includes nonbinary transfems as well, I apologize for not specifying. Either way, a good observation OP.

Anonymous

OP 1d

Trans men's "afabness" is often used against them by labelling them innocent/dumb/corrupted girls who don't know any better or who can be coerced back into femininity, different from how trans women are called perverts/fetishists/irredeemable violent males

Anonymous

#2 1d

and to be clear, I’m not buying into the myth of cleanly-divisible binary-gendered socialization, nor am I attempting to claim that transfems grow up experiencing Zero misogyny. this is just one of those areas where transfem and transmasc experiences don’t perfectly mirror one another

Anonymous

#2 1d

i think the fact that transfems experience misogyny even as "boys" is actually why more of them don't reclaim being amab the way transnascs reclaim being afab. because being afab is relevant to transmascs due to facing misogyny while transfems may feel like being amab should have protected them from something that it didn't protect them from, and thus they have no connection to that world

Anonymous

#2 1d

im tired so the phrasing might be bad but basically its all misogyny lol

Anonymous

#3 1d

I’m a tfem nb and yeah, this is very reflective of my own experience 😭

Anonymous

#5 1d

(using the general “you”, not saying this is something you do OP, to be clear)

Anonymous

#5 1d

exactly! even if someone was ok with agab terminology i would never use it for a specific person. i think it promotes essentialism in a super unhelpful way. i was just noticing a trend in those comments, and even then it wasn't absolute (see commenter #1)

Anonymous

#5 1d

I agree wholeheartedly. I didn't have a girlhood and I'm not a fucking "afab". It's upsetting that these words that were supposed to help us describe coercive sex assignment have been bastardized into this new woke way of misgendering others

Anonymous

#5 21h

i honestly feel this as someone who was masc/gender neutral as a kid, i got so few of the social experiences that both women and many other transmascs had. usually the only asab experiences i relate to are rooted in biological phenomena, & even then i mostly only share emotional experiences of them w other trans guys. one of my exes (also transmasc) said i was socialized male and called me emotionally repressed bc of it & i had no idea what to say bc what 😭