Yik Yak logo
Download TikTok Instagram X
Yik Yak icon
Join communities on Yik Yak Download
Trans Talk icon
Trans Talk 16h
i feel like a trans man and a butch at the same time but it feels like i can’t be both. i came out as trans first, so i was never “lesbian” pre-t. it just feels like since butches aren’t men then i can’t be a butch boy. am i bigender? nb? trans masc?
comment

11
upvote 17 downvote
default user profile icon
Anonymous 15h

who said butches cant be men

upvote 14 downvote
default user profile icon
Anonymous 15h

He/him lesbians!!!

upvote 13 downvote
default user profile icon
Anonymous 14h

I was out as a queer girl (never exclusively lesbian, though I’d always primarily dated girls) before I knew I was transmasc, so our experiences aren’t Exactly the same, but fwiw “I feel like a trans man and a butch at the same time” was why I personally ended up coming to the conclusion that I’m bigender so for me that was the most effective way to refuse to “just be one or the other”, but I cycled through a couple different labels before comfortably settling into this one

upvote 9 downvote
default user profile icon
Anonymous 5h

to be more clear, part of the issue is that i am not a lesbian! i am bisexual. i hope this clears up some of the conflict.

upvote 1 downvote
default user profile icon
Deleted 13h

Comment Deleted

upvote 0 downvote
default user profile icon
Anonymous replying to -> #2 15h

idk it seems like butches are masculine but not men? like that’s a line too far?? but idrk. all the butches and studs i know are women but are butch/studs.

upvote 6 downvote
🔮
Anonymous replying to -> OP 15h

There’s not really much of a line

upvote 9 downvote
default user profile icon
Anonymous replying to -> #4 14h

all that to say: I would guess that maybe you’re bigender, but I can’t say for sure, and I’m probably innately biased cause of how happy I am with how well the term suits me lol. my best advice would be to try out one of the labels you mentioned and see how you feel about it, knowing that it’s okay to change your mind in the future

upvote 9 downvote
default user profile icon
Anonymous replying to -> OP 14h

language can ofc be a highly subjective & imprecise thing, but within the categories of (for instance) transmasc butches & he/him lesbians, there’s plenty of people who do also self-describe as both a butch [in the sapphic sense] and a man. “masc” is a conveniently neutral / ambiguous label too

upvote 11 downvote
default user profile icon
Deleted 13h

Comment Deleted

upvote 0 downvote
default user profile icon
Anonymous replying to -> #1 13h

Also labels are so purely personal and subjective. No one label fits all levels of queerness. No two people have the exact same experience with their identity. We’ve created labels to give ourselves language and community, but they’re not intended to limit or box us in. Queerness is so vast and beautiful and deserves to be explored in all senses without fear of “not being ___ enough.” You can a trans man and a butch because you are queer and you are allowed to expand your identity

upvote 8 downvote
default user profile icon
Deleted 13h

Comment Deleted

upvote 0 downvote
default user profile icon
Anonymous 13h

I see what you mean. I think it has to do with some level of queerness. And it’s definitely not talked about as often (trans women being mlm) but there’s definitely women out there who keep their gay identity even after transitioning. One of my best friends is a trans woman but keeps her gay label because she doesn’t see her “straight” relationships as non-queer. I also think there’s a difference with OP saying he’s butch not lesbian

upvote 10 downvote
default user profile icon
Deleted 13h

Comment Deleted

upvote 0 downvote
default user profile icon
Anonymous 13h

butch is also a lesbian exclusive label. you cannot be butch and not a lesbian.

upvote 8 downvote