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Trans Talk 1w
Okay creatures. Serious question- I’m a pre- t trans dude, passing as a teenager. (I’m in my 20s) My boyfriend is really struggling to cope. As this is a new development. How can I communicate with him better going forward through my transition? Any tips?
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12
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Anonymous 1w

Gonna be brutally honest as someone who’s been in something similar. They liked you as a girl, or whatever you were before coming out and passing as male. That attraction is fizzling with the change. It wouldn’t be an issue if it wasn’t one. I unfortunately say consider breaking up, cut your heartbreak losses in the long run. You deserve someone who will love and embrace the change with you

upvote 16 downvote
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Anonymous 1w

Honestly just break up. Going from “very hyper fem” to trans masc is a big big change and id honestly only date pre transition if you know for a fact your s/o is bi/pan

upvote 10 downvote
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Anonymous 1w

Before I give advice, what is it that he's struggling to cope with?

upvote 5 downvote
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Anonymous 1w

Is he attracted to men?

upvote 5 downvote
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Anonymous replying to -> #1 1w

Very quick change, I was very hyper fem when we got together. But also now that I pass, he is having a hard time with being perceived as gay. We live in a red state. Im from a very blue state and couldn’t care less!

upvote 6 downvote
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Anonymous replying to -> #2 1w

Don’t fucking think so atp

upvote 5 downvote
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Anonymous replying to -> OP 1w

ahhhh, ok. does he still find you attractive and is just weirded out by being perceived by others as gay? or is he having trouble with actually reconciling his sexuality with your gender?

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Anonymous replying to -> #1 1w

Yes to all that ! He needs to get real cool with some stuff real fast

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Anonymous replying to -> OP 1w

ok so he 1) believes himself to be straight 2) still finds you attractive as a man 3) is afraid of being perceived as gay by others in public 4) doesn't know how to reconcile points 1 and 2 Is that correct? if so, good luck, I recommend he get therapy (teletherapy may be easier to find someone that's queer supportive)

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Anonymous replying to -> emmeline 1w

I say the last part because it lessens the chance of heartbreak on both sides.

upvote 3 downvote
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Anonymous replying to -> #1 1w

Neither does he 😭

upvote 2 downvote
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Anonymous replying to -> OP 1w

I will be fine lowkey but im worried about bro tho

upvote 1 downvote