Trans Talk on Yik Yak | im a clocky trans girl and it does not feel good to be immediately asked what my pronouns are when im wearing a dress and make up and im shaved etc, girl i need you to assume

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Trans Talk 3w

im a clocky trans girl and it does not feel good to be immediately asked what my pronouns are when im wearing a dress and make up and im shaved etc, girl i need you to assume

101

Anonymous 3w

a lot of transfemmes i’ve met use they/them so i’m just making sure 😔

Anonymous 3w

I swear it’s not an insult when I ask I just don’t wanna guess wrong and offend someone

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Anonymous 3w

i get this, but it’s also like- i never assume even if i think someone’s cis. everyone’s a they/themmy by default. i think normalizing asking is an important step to normalizing gender queerness. i do understand the feeling though. like you want to be seen as a woman, not a “trans woman”, but that’s not the case with everyone.

Anonymous 3w

As a very non-passing trans guy I feel this so bad like please if you squint I look cis enough

Anonymous 3w

I’d rather people ask than guess wrong, I’m pretty much always going to they/them everyone until told otherwise because I live in the Deep South and asking the wrong person will get me punched or worse

Anonymous 3w

Because media trains us we should confirm…maybe the dress says female but maybe something else suggest male so we ask to not offend

Anonymous 3w

i’m very obviously queer in a place where there aren’t many queer people so i usually do it to vibecheck people i THINK might be cool

Anonymous

#2 3w

I hate that term

-3

Anonymous

#5 3w

what term? transfemme? I think it’s meant to include trans people who self describe as feminine but don’t identify as binary women.

Anonymous

#6 3w

Is it weird to say that I’d rather someone assume I was a woman than have them immediately know I’m trans?

Anonymous

#3 3w

yeah I’m a trans fem NB and I use the term because it’s sooo much better than calling myself amab

Anonymous

#7 3w

makes sense!! I feel like it’s much nicer to focus on what you transitioned TO and not what you were born as

Anonymous

#3 3w

OP knows it’s not meant as an insult; regardless, it still hurts when you’re not perceived how you want. I think we can all understand that frustration

Anonymous

#7 3w

That’s fair yea

Anonymous

#1 3w

do you not see how it’s offensive as fuck to tell OP “maybe something else suggests male”. i hate seeing this nasty backhanded transphobia in “safe spaces”.

Anonymous

#1 3w

like actually coming back to this, it’s so fucking disgusting to be in a trans space and still have to deal with the “man in a dress” trope. delete this.

Anonymous

#5 3w

i use it to make sure nonbinary, etc folks who are amab and transitioning are included as well and not just trans women. no disrespect meant by it 😓

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Anonymous

#1 3w

the reason for asking is never because something is “giving male”. it’s because you can never tell someone’s pronouns just from their appearance or behavior. preferred pronouns are just one tiny part of someone’s personal expression of their identity and while there may be some trends in the data, there are too many outliers to make assumptions.

Anonymous

billcipher 3w

no, they’re being transphobic but they’re right. people ask pronouns when they think someone doesn’t pass or is clocky. that’s just true. that why it is upsetting to OP and other trans people to be asked.

Anonymous

#8 3w

hi #8 i love you