I think it’s a natural reaction to people thinking of trans women when trans people are talked about in a political context, since trans women get targeted by the right in media so much. that then brings up the problem that even people defending us will politically tokenize us and argue “for” us despite them still holding problematic views, but I think that’s part of it
I’m not sure gay men are generally excluded from lgbt conversations because they're men. There’s smth to be said about the way people who are intentionally (or not) masculine are treated in lgbt spaces, AND there's also weird things going on in the realm of trans rights, surrounding who gets heard and who doesn't
I mean the gay men thing is usually they have their own separate spaces often different from most lgbt spaces But yeah trans men voices are often covered up even within properly accepting communities (if I had to guess it’s becuase trans women are the ones more often fear mongered against so they kinda get forced into a place of being the face of their discrimination even when it does effect all genders greatly)