I think you’re talking about 2 different things tho. The first 2 are policy decisions (and in some terms funding for abortion) which they object to. The other 2 are more funding questions, which they believe should be up to individuals (in a good, charitable society). I don’t think that is as inconsistent as you claim
But the policy vs. funding distinction doesn’t actually have any foundation in Jesus’ teaching. He doesn’t explicitly call for governments to enforce Christian values at all (in fact the opposite, “render unto Caesar what is Caesar’s”). So the distinction feels very arbitrary. If the government enforces laws against gay marriage because it’s a Christian belief that this is a sin, why not also enforce people give to the poor under the same justification?