Anonymous #1 13w

Ok so you’ll want to do the laparoscopic approach, using the belly button and 2 other places for proper movement and visualization. You’d also want to start prophylactic antibiotics. First insert the camera to visualize the appendix in the right lower quadrant, then use the other 2 instruments to slowly cut and vacuum out the appendix, and finally cauterize the area once the appendix is removed to prevent exsanguination (time sensitive and partially correct answer)

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Anonymous OP 13w

Ok so no camera, I have a mirror, some vodka and a shard of glass. Also a needle and sewing thread (urgently time sensitive)

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Anonymous #1 13w

Do you have a lighter too? If so use the vodka and lighter to sterilize the shard of glass and the needle, cut about a third of the way between the belly button and the right hip, and get ready for a lot of blood and pain. Finds nd cut out the appendix and then sew it using the sterilized needle (please call 911 if you’re having an acute episode of appendicitis)

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Anonymous OP 13w

Sweet thanks doc, but how bad is it if I got cigarette ash in my guts before I closed it up?

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Anonymous #1 13w

Uhhhh congrats you have cancer now?

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Anonymous OP 13w

Don’t worry I’m probably like 42% cancer anyway

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Anonymous #1 13w

Zamn

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