
It seems like you’re kind of confusing patriotism with nationalism. You can have all those aspects with patriotism but nationalism is exclusive to and descends in to a “national identity” that often draws borders on race. Nationalism also often manifests in an “us or them” way, in which we as a nation prioritize our own interests over other nations that can lead to conflict.
I think there’s a big difference between pre-20th century small n nationalism and mid-century big N Nationalism. Initially it was just the idea that these smaller duchies and kingdoms should join together to make a stronger whole, creating a national rather than primarily ethnic identity. Then came Nationalism as we sort of know it today, consisting mainly of the idea that the nation, state, and its culture must be congruent and prioritized over other concerns.
Nationalism often manifests as a sort of large-scale tribalism. It means a prioritizing of one specific group of people over others. In a repressive context, nationalism can be viewed positively. For example, the nationalist movements against British colonialism. However, when the nationalist movement is in power, that often leads to persecution of people groups who don’t fall within said “nation”