well that's why i suggested to just bring a single flower, not a whole bouquet bc you're right. however i don't think a single flower would come off as "too much" and also like respectfully dating isn't transactional. it's not like she owes you anything in return bc you gave her flower(s) and paid for the date. if you didn't connect then you didn't connect. besides lots of women now and days don't mind paying for their half / splitting the check.

12

okay, you are aware that a second date isn't dependent upon who pays for the first date right? if someone wasn't feeling a romantic connection then why would they go on a second date? haven't you ever been on a date with someone and you just didn't connect with them? and also if you are so concerned with money, you can always do a first date that doesn't require money. especially in college

10

those women are immature and shallow, and like not kneeling while proposing is strange and im not sure why would choose not to do it like unless you were both like sitting down on the ground like a picnic/beach situation or something but like of you're in a multi-year relationship then you should know what type of proposal ur SO would like

11

Anonymous OP 4w

like i know several women who would say no if their bfs did a jumbotron or highly public proposal bc they aren’t comfortable with all that attention and yeah i think that's a clear sign that you don't know each other well enough. same thing goes for kneeling, if you know your gf is a traditionalist and wants you to kneel idk why you wouldn't

5

like i feel like you don't understand the concept of a relationship, have you like ever been in one before?? with the splitting of the check thing, yeah those women r immature and shallow but some ppl are traditionalist, and they have a right to be that way. it just means they weren't the right person for u

15

i mean not necessarily. i would say being a virgin until marriage aligns more with religion values. a traditional woman wouldn't sleep around but would probably sleep with the men she's been in long term relationships with. i feel like in modern times it's naive to assume someone is a virgin if they're not religious.

7

what?? i don't understand why you brought up virginity to begin with like that doesn't affect the proposal

8

i still don't see how that's connected 💀 you should know what type of proposal you're girlfriend wants regardless if she's a virgin or not. if you don't kneel and she wanted you to kneel then i feel like that's grounds to break up bc you either didn't listen or just don't care and a proposal is a pretty big deal

1

Anonymous OP 4w

That’s fucked up. I’m not dating multiple people and giving multiple people flowers in a week. wtf

0

Anonymous OP 4w

Obviously she doesn’t owe you anything in return, but a lot of women get weirded out. This one woman talked so much shit behind my back because I offered her some snacks and she said I was trying to buy her friendship. I’m done

0

#1 you’re fucking weird. I wanted to split the first date. Two years later & we’re ring shopping. And I was not a virgin when we met (although it was mostly people I had been in LTR with previously with a few ONS slipped in…… luckily he cares about the future with me & who I am as a person NOW & not when I was 18…). I think you need to get your head out of your ass & stop generalizing. Generalizations help no one & they aren’t usually even true. Pic of my fave setting so far just because!🥰

7

Anonymous #4 4w

Oh, and he has gotten me monthly flowers since we started dating. We were just discussing the OOP and he said he can’t remember when he actually started bringing me flowers but I’m like 98% sure it was only maybe 3 weeks into the relationship that he started buying me flowers regularly. And he still does it:))

9

Anonymous #4 4w

Consider yourself extremely lucky. I am glad you found someone. But it’s not the norm. A lot of dudes are reaching 25+ years without ever having a gf much less someone who actually cares and isn’t an emotionally wreck, and forget about them financially stable. It’s rough out here.

0

Anonymous #3 4w

We met at 22 and 23, and he had actually not had a serious girlfriend all the way thru college. From what he’s said, it seemed he also had a similar experience to some of what I read on the OOP. He went on A LOT of first or second dates thru those 4 years, and nothing ever really took off. But that gave us both time to emotionally mature, to KNOW what we want from our own lives and a partner, and that’s ultimately what I consider the strength of our foundation.

8

Anonymous #3 4w

Having lots of first dates does NOT make you a failure, and it’s honestly telling of emotional immaturity and unattractive for people to outwardly think otherwise. Sometimes things just don’t work out, but lack of compatibility is NOT a good reflection of anyone’s worth as a person or partner in life.

3

Anonymous #4 4w

I mean that’s a fair take on it. What do you think about people who don’t date at all? I mean, I’ve had two “first date” in the past three years. I’m not mad about it, i just don’t use social media and I don’t do dating apps, so… yeah I’ve met people at the club and maybe kissed a few times and I hooked up with a couple of people years ago but beyond that.. meh. But yah I chose this, but makes me worried I’m gonna be 30 and never had a stable relationship

1

Anonymous #3 4w

Respectfully, you may not be mad, but you are definitely hurt by it.. I see your anxiety. I will give you this, it is HARD to just MEET people nowadays. I did at one point feel super afraid that I wasn’t worthy of love, and it took direct effort to change my perspective on life about it. When I started dating again I was very certain about what I wanted in a partner and held really firm on my standards, and a lot of guys DID ghost me, but some also didn’t!

7

Anonymous #3 4w

Of the people that didn’t, I still found small incompatibilities, and again, I totally respected those people, thought they were great people, we just weren’t meant to be. And letting that go meant we could find our person. Once I knew my own self worth it made it a lot less emotionally tolling to be on the search for my person. I knew that when I found them it would all be worth it, and it was!

7

You’re right, I make more than he does and we actually plan on HIM being the SAHD. He was the virgin when we met, too. We still have a traditional relationship and one that works the best for us! Maybe if you weren’t such an incel prick you’d have better luck finding someone that agreed on the relationship dynamic you aspire for.

5

if they demands are "she has to be virgin" then that's just immature and unrealistic. especially if you aren't a virgin yourself, like i said most adults aren't gonna be virgins unless they are highly religious. if you want someone to marry you/to be married then frankly you are gonna have to compromise. which means listening to the women and if you know that u don't want to kneel for whatever reason and she wants a man to kneel when he proposes then you guys probably aren't right for each other

4

you having a weird obsession with women being virgins is quite concerning. remember it's a social construct and nothing abt a women or a man changes after they have had sex. besides lots of people prefer someone with sexual experience. women don't owe you virginity

5